FullMetal Maid
by Sweet Q
Summary: FullMetal Alchemist Characters in a Victorian setting. Mustang's is a master. Riza Hawkeye a butler. Armstrong in French maid? And now a FullMetal Maid comes along? And is there a budding relationship between Roy and FullMetal maid? Definitely.
1. Chapter 1

Fullmetal Maid – Where Edward makes Maidly Fantasies come true – Chapter: The Butler

I need an Illustrator (aka mangaka) to illustrate this non-illustrated fanfic. Please message if you are interested with examples of your work. I'll deeply appreciate it and will be your fanfic filth queen if you do.

The butler heard the bell rang with a tasteful ditty and gracefully strode to the large doors that were at the end of an even larger corridor. The butler named Riza Hawkeye, opened the door to find what a butler would normally see if they happened to work at a mansion own by one of the richest men in the land. A ridiculously large parcel.

As ridiculously large parcels for ridiculously rich men went, it was rather plain and not very heavy, in fact it was so un-heavy, that even Riza Hawkeye could pick it up and bring it into the mansion. Quickly glancing at the rather plain parcel, she knew instantly that it was for her master with its cheap scrawl on a small white label. The butler rattled the package, which was quite a task seeing that the parcel was 5ft 5", but a butler to the ridiculously rich would be able to manage it, of course.

However, Riza heard a noise that generally a ridiculously large parcel delivered would not make. A small squeal. Now if one was a butler, shaking a 5ft 5" parcel, one would question said squealing parcel with caution. However one is not Riza, who promptly threw the parcel into a wall. Investigating that the parcel did not squeal again, the butler dusted her hands and walked away to prepare tea for her late arriving master. With the help of one of the mansions top maids, Riza had quickly prepared for the arrival of her master who happened to be at a social meeting.

Soon the sound of horses and oiled wheels filled the air outside the mansion, alongside the kowtowing of servants, trumpets being blown in the air and fireworks whizzing daylight. The butler's master had arrived as gallant and showy as ever. Stirring the Earl Grey tea, Riza took her position near her master's mahogany chair, which was decorated with flames.

The oak doors slammed open, her master whirling into the room with vigour and energy, dumping his coat on the floor in a royal mess. Riza swooped down to pick it up and moved the coat to its coat rack.

"Greetings, Master Mustang, I trust that your day has been well, sire." She bowed at the waist slightly, a small smile gently touching her face.

"It has indeed been well, Hawkeye! I have the Fuhrer's trust, alongside many dozens of women begging for my hand, of course." Roy Mustang paraded with glee and gusto around the room, flaring his hands out. The butler nodded sagely to her master's words. "Of course, sire." One as a butler would never mentioned if you thought your master was a pompous twit.

Reciting his day's 'hard work', the butler nodded and agreed without really listening to the romantic ramblings of her master speaking of women in their prime and such.

After her master had calmed down, the butler found it appropriate to mention just as her master had sat down that he had a parcel waiting by the door. Of course, her master was mildly annoyed that he'd just sat down after such a hard day. However, her master was one for morbid curiosity and watched as he ran like a child to the Christmas tree. A female child, but a butler such as she would never mention to her master that she thought something like that.

Following discreetly, she saw her master pause in horror at the site before him. Roy Mustang turned to Riza with tears in his eyes. "Why is this parcel so ugly? I want it burnt!" He said petulantly, pursing his lips in a sulk. The butler thought for a moment about the squealing earlier, but shrugged the thought off and went to pick the parcel up, when the mansion's top maid came running through the corridor in tears.

"STOOOOOOPPPP!" Armstrong cried out, his French skirt billowing in the wind dramatically. "That parcel shouldn't be buurrrrnnnneeeeddd!"

The butler stared at the top maid of the mansion then glanced at her master. The master shook his head and she placed the parcel down. With heaving sobs when Armstrong reached them, he recited to the master what the package was. "I'm s-sorry master, but I just wanted to get you a gift for your birthday." The maid sniffed unhappily, "I can't afford expensive wrapping, but I thought you'd at least look inside it!!" The maid sulked with tears in his eyes. The master grimaced apologetically, and nodded to Hawkeye to open the parcel.

With a happy face in the background of the maid, Hawkeye and Mustang looked into the dark of the box with curious eyes. They saw a blonde head bobbing up and down and out popped the cutest maid on the world. From the look on her master face, he'd never seen a pretty maid than the girl in the box who smile sweetly.

However the illusion was not kept for long. "I give you the Fullmetal Maid! He's the newest in the series!" Armstrong sparkled proudly with his arm outstretched to the boy in the box.

Roy Mustang however had already fainted by the time Armstrong had proudly presented his present. The butler sighed, she was in for a lot of cleaning in the future.


	2. Chapter 2

FullMetal Maid – Where Roy Mustang could die of blood loss – Chapter: Gender!?

Mustang never was one for thinking deeply about his mansion and its occupants. He had his butler, Riza Hawkeye, his best maid, Armstrong and the rest of its ever-growing family. But now, Mustang thought as he stared at the tight little bottom that wiggled in front of his gaze, _she _came along. The young master had never heard his top maid mention that the _girl _was actually a **boy **and in his delusions arose a need to try and court the FullMetal maid.

The FullMetal Maid according to Armstrong was the latest model of maids to be produced from the maid academy. With superior cleaning abilities and complete obedience to their assigned masters, they made the perfect staff required in any large home. But Mustang still couldn't think of the FullMetal maid before him to be just a staff member.

_With her long blonde eyelashes, cupid bow mouth, wide amber eyes and her hair pulled back into a plait to keep it from her face. Her small hips and height made her adorable and doll- like. Even her smile, curving into a seductive whisper, made her radiate._ Though the master of the mansion looked sometimes a ditz, he was in fact a very famous writer and at some times an amateur poet. The FullMetal maid was dusting the bookcase of all his work with a red feather duster.

Thus the session of cleaning gave a very perverted master a very long time to stare at the petticoat and French frills adorning the FullMetal maid's skirt. Of course, a master as rich and child-like as Roy Mustang, would never admit he'd fallen head over in heels for the small maid so soon. Smiling to himself, which wasn't very appropriate for a master of his day and age, he quickly schemed some way to romance the young maid. Coughing with a sudden drama, he tumbled from his seat and onto the floor.

The FullMetal Maid saw his master fall to the floor and quickly rushed to his master's side. Now when one's master has fallen to the floor in a sudden drama, one would think they were tragically ill in the head. However the FullMetal maid would not question his master's acting, no matter how bad it was. Believing that his master was full of the love of acting, the maid felt it was his responsibility to be an encouragement.

In his own way, the maid was applauding his master acting skills by picking him up and fretting over the master in such equal drama as Mustang had shown. Calling for the butler to care for the master was just one way of supporting the master's acting. Feeling proud of a good day's work for his master, the FullMetal maid left it to Hawkeye to instruct the master on his acting and went to help his mentor, Armstrong, with the washing.

The master, however, was not very pleased to be dumped on the floor by a very annoyed butler whose smile was as cold as the tundra. Feeling that their roles had reversed, Mustang sulked to his bedroom under the watchful glare of Hawkeye. Though a man as rich as Mustang did not become rich by being defeatist, no, as soon as the perverted master saw the maid with a load of washing to be dried, he schemed another plan to gain the maid's attention.

When one wants to gain the attention of a loved one, please do not hang yourself out of a window hoping to be caught by said loved one. Though no-one had told young Mustang to not do exactly that. So the young master found out himself that the wind was very chilly high up outside of a window ledge. Screaming dramatically for help, his cries carried to the ears of one particular blonde headed maid and as Mustang heard, "I'll catch you, young master!" the master let go of the ledge with a silly grin on his face and was caught safely into the bulging arms of his top maid. Armstrong. With a severe warning and ear clipping from Armstrong, Mustang did not notice that his quarry had escaped by walking past him with the dry washing.

Thwarted the master returned to his hunt for the maid's attention. Soon finding his blonde plaited maid in the kitchen elbow deep in soapsuds, multiple schemes filled his head as well as multiple fantasies. The FullMetal maid naked with small breasts covered in soapsuds. The FullMetal maid eating a cucumber suggestively and other such dirty fantasies a single 29-year-old master would have. But being caught in one's own fantasies whilst trying to scheme is generally not a very good idea, as the master soon found out when he emerged from his own head to find that the FullMetal maid had already finished the dishes and a blushing Armstrong shyly asking that the master look away since Armstrong has not done his own hair yet.

On the prowl again, Mustang finally caught up to the FullMetal maid who was getting ready to end his shift and go to bed. Sneaking into the room quietly and hiding behind a locker, the master waited like a voyeur for his maid to undress. Now a master as unlucky as this one would not really get to glimpse his own naked maid, so said the squeaking on Mustang's shoulder. Mustang glanced at his shoulder to see a rat happily staring at the maid outside the locker. Screaming in fear, the foolish master slammed out of the locker to be knocked on top of the FullMetal maid.

Once again, the master as unlucky as this one does not get to be in a suggestive scene with a blushing maid. He did however manage to have his head land softly on FullMetal maid's groin. Mustang who had gone the colour of a bleached jellyfish stuttered into the French thong, "Y-you're a **GUY**!?" His scream echoed through the whole of the mansion, waking up a very annoyed butler trying to get her beauty sleep.

The FullMetal maid with **his** long blonde eyelashes, cupid bow mouth, wide amber eyes, **his** hair pulled back into a plait to keep it from **his** face and **his** small hips and height to make **him** adorable like a doll. Even **his** scowl, curving into a sexy pout, made **him** radiate. "Young master, you never checked my name tag did you?" Mustang frozen stiff, glance meekly at the nametag spelling the name **'Edward'**. Blanching even further, the young master fainted once again in the presence of FullMetal Maid Edward.


End file.
